First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there, it’s not free candy.
Elf (2003)
“ I was supposed to do Pilates this morning. I got as far as putting the sports bra on. Then I realized there was no way I was about to drive through traffic and go to the gym. No. So I threw my bathrobe on over the bra and read the paper. Sometimes I hope that through osmosis I might get a workout — just by wearing the clothes. ”
Kate Walsh (via fuckyeahkatewalsh) (via nextuesday) (via giveme-a-reason) (via sunshinesong)
I cuddled with a cat because I’m sexy as hell.
Reblog with yours :P
I ran shirtless with the kool-aid man because that’s how I roll.
I banged Santa Claus because I have double d’s.
I killed a condom because I’m a pimp and you’re jealous.
I killed a pornstar because I have amazing boobs.
i cuddled with a homeless guy because i’m beautiful~
I needed a jew because that’s how I roll. lmao wat.
I banged a bag of weed because that’s how I roll.
I banged the kool-aid man because I’m a pimp and you’re jealous
I cuddled with a jar of honey because that’s how I roll.